Bad Decisions

Gumdrops and Lollypops

I am guilty of many things. Among those, and certainly most pertinent to today’s post (brought to you by the letters F and I – as in effing idiot) is idealism.

Internet, I imagined a world where past and present collide, shake hands, do the hokey pokey and managed to coexist peacefully. A world filled with gummy bears and chocolate frogs, with fountains pouring forth Coke Zero and muscled demi-god masseurs insist on soothing the aching muscles of backs for eternity.

Instead, I’m sitting with a warmish cup of coffee, filled with grounds and prepared to drink it as penance (since my cilice is at the cleaners) for doing a Bad Thing. To be honest, I’m being lazy and cannot be bothered making another cup of coffee to replace it and, really, grind coffee seems like an apt punishment*.

This post is perhaps more confessional than I would like it to be, but I think I just want someone on my side to tell me that I am doing something nice and, if not exactly the right thing, certainly not the wrong thing.

KB phoned awhile ago to say that he was moving back to Vancouver for the summer and would I mind if he stayed with me, to which I replied, of course not. You’re still a friend and you’ll always be welcome in my home. Particularly since I am intimately aware of his financial situation and the ever rising cost of tuition.

Then, last week while having a glass of wine with Hodge, I mentioned this to him. I don’t know exactly what I was expecting, but I certainly did not anticipate his reaction (or non reaction) of shutting down. We quietly finished our drinks, forced some conversation on the walk home and parted ways in the corridor as he went up to his and I went into mine.

At lunch Friday, Hodge very clearly stated, when pressed, that he was in no way comfortable with this arrangement. He asked me how I’d feel if he told me that his ex girlfriend was coming to stay for three months and live at his place. I understand where he is at and why he objects to this arrangement, I really do.

But.

I feel faced with the decision of helping a friend, at the potential cost of my relationship, which is a crummy place to have landed myself. Way to go, nerd.

On a lighter note:

The Strange, The Hilarious and The Unexpected

I was waiting for the cash machine at the local 7-11 (or the Sev, as we say on the dirty side of town) behind 3 of the slowest possible ATM users, one of whom I suspect has never used a cash point ever, ever, ever,** when lady who had been yelling at passerby on the street, entered the shop, walked behind me and grabbed a Coke from the cooler and began to walk in circles (as you do when you’re jazzed up on *ahem* coke [big or little c]). Mid circle, I think she forgot what she was doing, swaggered over and asked me for spare change, which I declined, and then hot foots it out of the store with a 2L jug tucked somewhere in her voluminous coat. “I ain’t stolen nothing”, she bellowed at the store person who noticed the theft and very casually crossed the road into oblivion. It was satisfyingly surreal and boosted my mood immediately, particularly since oblivion, to her, meant just the other side of the road.

*As does sitting in my ‘climate’ controlled office with no coat on. It’s March and the air conditioning has turned on, insistent on making my personal space rival the temperature of a Siberian winter. Naturally, my efforts to disable the fan and air conditioning mechanisms have been met with snorts of derision from inanimate objects.

**seriously.annoying. Honest attempts at inserting card in various ways, all of them wrong; one withdrawing cash with four, FOUR different cards; another apparently low on cash, but high on hope, repeatedly trying to make that ATM sing.

-Head in the Sand, Anna