'Afternoon

I was going to say Happy Monday, but I don’t want to fool you into thinking I’m Mary fucking Sunshine. Because I am not. Particularly on a Monday. An especially wet and gloomy Monday. So let me conclude by saying, since we’re all in this Monday business together: Hi. How’s your hangover?

My weekend with nuts, in a shell (like an M&M!):

I got hit on, repeatedly, by Hodge’s colleague when we were all out on Friday. We both repeatedly told Ralph, aka the octopus hands man, that I had a significant someone or other and that I wasn’t going to reciprocate his advances. Ever. Not even if I was single. You wee little man.

Aside from handsy man and hunter man*, I enjoyed my Friday, even if my neuroses came out in force after a few drinks. It would appear that I am a clean freak (some might say Nazi) after I’ve had a few and the venue happens to be my apartment; It took alot of restraint to not plastic wrap my place. I’m also slightly concerned that Ted Bundy lives in my bedroom closet, that I have to say to myself before every flight that I get on that the plane is going to crash** and earthquakes are a very scary thought for me***. (I had some serious problems in my last high rise apartment: I lived on the bottom floor and thought every night I stayes there that an earthquake would topple the whole building onto me and they would never recover my body) So, in the end, some near strangers know far too much about my secret persona (Bridget-Jones-meets-Woody-Allen-with-OCD) that I had so skilfully tried to hide.

*Hunter man was excitedly explaining that he was going to go hunting and shoot everything he saw, like, everything. Perhaps I took him too literally while he was being ‘cool, man’ because I fail to see the cool side of frivolously shooting animals that aren’t going to be used in a purposeful manner. Note to Hunter man: Pull your badly haircutted head out of your ass before opening your mouth again, because it keeps filling up with diarrhoetic shit and is spewing from all of your orifices. Douche.
***And that concludes Monday’s soapbox session. You are excused.***

**I do sincerely think that before I get on flights, and I would say that I fly a fair bit. I resign myself to the fact that if the plane does go down, there is nothing that I can do about it, and if it’s my time to go, I’ll give your regards to the man downstairs. However, this has become a double edged sword when I have caught myself not saying it and then realised, mid flight, that I had doomed my unlucky co-planers because by not saying it, the plane was going to crash. It’s complicated.

***Ha! I live in earthquake alley, where I had earthquake drills in junior high school. Hide under a desk, in a door way, hold a text book over your head and neck for protection!

Saturday was a bit of a write off. It was full of sick people (genuinely ill, not gutterminds, unlike Sunday), driving, getting lost, wanting to get lost and Ikea. I know that there are tons of people that really enjoy getting their grooves on at Ikea. I’m not one of them. I no longer find shopping fun and enjoyable, and shop like a man-woman (wanting to get in and get out, but needing to find the ‘perfect’ lamp/pillow/pair of jeans, etc). All in all, it was a very long day.

Sunday was Funday! I met my fellow apartment dwellers, Hodge and Hug, for brekkie at Theresa’s on Denman, which to date is my favourite cheap and cheerful breakfast joint. There were other destinations in the day, culminating with finding rocks at the beach and red velvet cupcakes for dessert.

It was like spending the day with two brothers, but better (since these guys can carry on a conversation which doesn’t include grunting in reply to queries)! I really am fond of my neighbours and think that I must have done something right to deserve their company, even in the meanwhile. They also buy me red velvet and chocolate cupcakes, and I’m not usually one to let a good thing go!

I also have a short week ahead of me. My boss and I have elected to work on Wednesday (though I will be going to the Remembrance Day services) and have Friday off instead. Inspired idea, Boss!

This entry has taken far too long, and I’m afraid that I have lost interest now. It’s also (conveniently) time for me to go home and de-mould my fridge*.

-Anna

*Ha! Who am I kidding? Like that’s going to happen!